Been thinking about buying a Victorinox for ten years. Please just tell me which one to click.

I am not exaggerating with the ten years. At some point way back I even walked into an actual store with my then girlfriend, picked up like four of them, put all four back, and left with nothing. She is long gone. I still do not own a knife.

Here is my problem: I do not think I actually need one. I sell motorhomes for a living, so my days are customer emails, paperwork and walking around vehicles pointing at things. I genuinely cannot remember a single moment in my life where I thought “damn, if only I had a knife right now”. Never missed it once. But I also suspect that is the whole trap, because everyone says you only realise how handy it is after you start carrying one.

Taste wise I like the chunky ones with all the tools. The tiny keychain ones just look a bit sad to me. But I also do not want a brick in my pocket, so I keep drifting toward something mid sized. And I have no idea whether I would carry it in my pocket or on my keyring, which probably tells you how much thought I have given to actually using it.

So: Super Tinker? Pioneer X in Alox? Or do I go full send and get one of the huge ones with 30 functions and accept that I will use the scissors and nothing else?

I just want to order one this week so I can finally close this tab. Tell me what to buy.