i genuinely think it would benefit everyone around me if i died

only venting here so i dont bother anyone else in my life with this.

i think they would be sad for a little bit then get over it and have better, more peaceful lives. maybe no one wants to admit that but its true. in addition, the statistics say its highly likely that i will kill myself. it runs in my family, my friends, i've attempted before, i'm mentally ill, have ptsd etc etc

im not afraid of dying but im afraid of attempting again and it not working again and becoming a worse burden on those around me. so i will live for now. but i wish i didnt have to