Any advice on how to accept what can’t be changed? From older trans people?

I’m a transsexual male, dysphoric about the size and softness of my hands and feet, as well as my pelvis (the bone, not the fat.) I’m also dysphoric about my reproductive capabilities. I’m straight and will never be able to combine my genetics with another woman. I’m open to a trans woman if we connect, but I’d rather not bank on that. And I feel creepy chasing a woman down for that reason. I have always had bottom dysphoria, and hope to resolve this with a complete metoidioplasty. My hands and reproductive capabilities are already forerunners because I can’t console myself with the fact that it will be fixed one day.

I haven’t had any luck with therapists. The conversation always steers back to how to accept what I can change, aka.. what I’ve accepted. If not that, it becomes about how important it is that I’m accepting of people who transition for fun unlike me. I just want to help myself. Why does it have to be about how valid people who are privileged compared to me are? This has been a consistent problem with multiple therapists. I can’t find any trans therapists who seem like they’re actually transsexual, therefore won’t push me into the great queer movement. If they’re cisgender, it’s pretty much the same story, but they’re just an ally who definitely listens to queer people (as in, they resonate with a GNC cisgender person because they have that in common. They don’t listen to “queer” people if they think I’m queer, lol.)