Need advice from those who wanted kids but never truly felt ready

This mostly pertains to those who in their 30s had a child while it felt like their life was finally taking off.

I’m really struggling here. I’m married to 26/F and she really wants to have kids right now.

While yes she is young - she’s the type who doesn’t really care and knows her timeline (for what it’s worth she’s a very high income earner).

Myself I seemed to spend my entire 20s struggling. I partied a bit but never felt really in control of my own life.

More recently I have begun in my 30s to feel like my life is exciting and mine. I have enough money to go out. Eat at whatever restaurant. Fly across the world. Go to Tomorrowland.

But I’m freaking out about having a child.

My wife wants to start trying immediately. We got pregnant earlier in the year by accident and I pretty much went non verbal for a week lol. We did have a miscarriage though and I was there for my wife(it was devastating for her) I was relieved.

Now because of the timelines we talked about earlier in our relationship I’m pretty much reneging on them and freaking out. It’s obviously unfair to her but I’m having an extremely hard time coming to terms with losing my fun freedom.

Like I want to go Tomorrowland again next year with my boys but if we have a kid now I won’t be able to. But that could be the same next year or for any event.

So for people who were in a spot like me - how did you work around this? Was it as bad as I’m making it out to be?

I’m not talking to the ones who think they were born to be a father - how many of you struggled so hard and then I want to know what you did to get through it?