I told my boyfriend the truth after 3 years.

Hi! I am 25 (F), and my partner is 27 (M). Three years ago, I met this guy because we were in the same band. We were just friends, and nothing more. One night, while I was scrolling through my partner’s Instagram, I saw that he was messaging another girl and seemed to be flirting with her. But when I refreshed the page, the messages were gone, which meant he had deleted them. I was really mad.

So, I opened up to the guy from my band. He became my confidant and comforted me. We only talked, and nothing physical ever happened. As the days passed, I started developing feelings for him. However, I admitted it to him and told him that what I was feeling was wrong because I respected my partner. He also advised me not to overthink it because maybe I had simply gotten used to being comforted by him. We eventually laughed it off and remained friends. However, we are only civil with each other now because we both respect our respective relationships.

Today, I finally admitted to my partner that I had developed feelings for this guy three years ago because my partner had always asked me about it. I kept it to myself for so long because I was waiting for the right time to have a proper conversation with him, especially since he is currently in Cebu for work.

He became extremely angry and deeply hurt. He told me that what I did was worse than what he did because I actually developed feelings for someone else. He said that what he did—chatting with and deleting messages from another girl—was not as bad as what I did because I fell for someone else.

What makes things worse is that whenever we argue, I always end up doubting him because of what happened three years ago. Now that he knows what I did, he is extremely angry at me and feels betrayed.

He told me not to call him tomorrow because he wants some space. I want to ask for fair and honest advice. What should I do?