Scared to solo travel

Hello, I am a 20F going on a solo trip pretty soon. I will be staying at hostels in Europe. I was excited to party and have fun, but the more I think about the more I realize I cannot be drinking like I do, while alone in a foreign country. Last time I went out with friends, it was very important to me that I watched my drinking as I knew I needed to learn how too. I thought I was doing good that night, ending up blacking out no clue how I got home or anything. I was so adamant on being good and I tried hard. Anyways what should I do? I also understand I am an alcoholic and need to go sober, but realistically I don’t think that’s gonna happen for me especially at this point in my life.

Anything’s appreciated thanks!