Should I just book an appointment?

I'm 21 and about 75% sure that I'm trans. It has been on my mind for at least 4 years, daily for the past 2-3 of those. But I haven't made much progress. I have told a few friends that I might be trans, am looking at names, and have tried some clothes.

I wanted to try voice training soon, but I've heard about how difficult it can be and keep finding excuses to avoid starting.

I feel like I am wasting my life away, I hate my reflection and avoid mirrors/photos because of how insecure I feel.

Social transition and HRT sound terrifying, and there's still a part of me that still worries I won't like it. I don't love my life now, but I can handle it. Transitioning seems so difficult, and I still don't feel certain it will make me happier, I don't feel 100% that I am trans (despite all these thoughts). But I worry about not starting HRT soon and the time I'm wasting, where I could be getting results.

I'm stuck between three mindsets

1. Keep very slowly experimenting

2. Risk it and book an appointment to get estrogen

3. Do nothing

I only really started actively experimenting a few weeks ago, and all the past 3+ years were just thoughts, but I'm tired of feeling like my life is waiting. I have a friend who has been medically transitioning for 1 year, and it feels like she’s completely overtaken me.

I won't allow myself to do nothing again for another 4 years. Now, it's just whether to take it slower and keep experimenting or to try and get started medically quickly despite my uncertainty.