Am I (23F) bratty to expect my bf (26M) to pay for all our dates?

I (23F) am a Russian woman living in Germany and currently studying full-time. I make some money tutoring on the side, but it’s not a significant amount. I also have a disability that limits how much I can work, which is one of the reasons I still live with my parents, as I wouldn’t be able to afford my own place at the moment.

My boyfriend (26M) works full-time and earns a decent income. We’ve been together for about a year and are currently in a long-distance relationship.

From our very first date, I was upfront about the fact that I was looking for a man who was comfortable taking on the financial responsibility in a relationship. Personally, I wouldn’t want a 50/50 arrangement. This is largely cultural for me and something I made clear early on.

When he visits me, he pays for the hotel. We usually stay there because my home is quite loud and it gives us some privacy. He also pays for our activities and our meals. We like to keep it casual, like going to the movies or going out to eat a pizza. He tries to visit me as often as possible, usually for a few days about once a month. I genuinely appreciate the effort he puts into coming to see me and make sure to thank him for it.

At the same time, I feel that I contribute to our relationship in other ways. For example, I usually plan our dates, and because he is very introverted, I tend to take on more of the emotional and social side of our relationship. Whenever I have some money left over, I also like buying him thoughtful gifts. When he visits to my home, my family welcomes him warmly and we have dinner together.

Recently, however, he told me that he would appreciate it if I paid for dinner sometimes. I reminded him that I had been upfront from the beginning that I didn’t want a 50/50 relationship. He explained that he isn’t asking for 50/50- he just wants me to pick up the bill occasionally. Essentially, he would prefer something closer to a 90/10 financial split because he doesn’t like being responsible for every financial aspect of our relationship.

The problem is that I genuinely don’t feel comfortable paying for dates, even if it’s only occasionally. As I said, I think a lot of this comes down to my cultural background and my personal understanding of relationship roles. If we were living together and I had a stable income, I would be completely fine contributing toward household expenses. But paying for dates as the woman in the relationship just feels strange and uncomfortable to me.

Part of my frustration is also that I know he can comfortably afford our dates, whereas I have very little disposable income. I don’t expect expensive restaurants, lavish gifts, or luxury trips. My expectation is simply that he pays for the dates and activities we do together.

At the same time, he has now brought this up three times, so it’s clearly important to him and is becoming a genuine issue between us. I don’t want to dismiss something that obviously matters to him, but I also don’t want to agree to a relationship dynamic that I was clear from the beginning I didn’t want.

Am I unreasonable and should just pay for dinner, or does this disagreement point to a bigger incompatibility in how we view relationships and financial roles?