Do you guys ever love your special interest so much you avoid it?

my special interest has been hozier for a few years. i listen to his music often but sometimes if i hear his music in a different context ill avoid listening. for example, if im scrolling tiktok and a video of him performing live comes up, ill swipe. if i stay it actually physically hurts my chest. i love his music so much and i have a very deep connection to the songs. so maybe its avoidance of feeling those emotions? i don’t know. i’m curious if anyone else has experienced this. it’s also not just hozier, i do this with other stuff im obsessed with too.