Idk if i should seek treatment for this

Idk if this would require ocd treatment

For as long as I can remember I have loved women and desired a life with women. I had never felt any attraction to any men in my life, I had never felt any sort of desire to be with them, I’d always view them as friends or family nothing more, sure I could identify a nice looking dude but never wanted to be with one. I’d always fantasize about the girls in my class in school and loved being around them. Only until recently I began having fears because of porn, the thought being “watching a girl suck a big penis is gay”. I had severe anxiety about it, and began checking and obsessing over whether or not I had denial. I’d still have hetero desires but everytime I’d check to see if I had a reaction to a penis, and I got one, I’d start fearing again. Some times the reactions would be stronger than other times but all I wanted was to go back to where I was, in love of women. My symptoms are as follows: Here are all my symptoms

I’ve had heavy sexual lust for women my entire life never questioned it fam was homophobic but I genuinely organically was straight

Straight porn scared me into thinking I was gay now all of the sudden which started the obsession in December

Everyday all day analyzing and reviewing memories

Groinal responses that only got increasingly worse in the last 3 weeks

Loss of attraction to women significantly

Loss of confidence and motivation

Thoughts while masturbating that throw me off or disturb me

Thoughts images and urges that I repulse with all my bodily might and try to fight away

Fear I’m just lying to myself and that I’m actually in denial of something

Periods of clarity where I’ll regain my confidence in my original sexual identity like (may 29th-may31st)

Fear I’m getting too comorrrable with the obsession

Fear that me obsessing and thinking abt this is proof enough I’m in denial

Constant checking to see if I’m aroused

Constantly analyzing my feelings and thinking about my thoughts, literally thinking abt thoughts and then thinking about thinking about thoughts

Imagining scenarios in my head to see how I’ll react to them

Emotional numbness after six months that disturbs me and makes me think I’m actually liking the symptoms

Constant telling myself I’m not actually what I fear

Afraid to walk past men or shake their hands

Avoid sitting next to men

Afraid to poop or pee in fear that its denial

What are some good strategies to combat this and should I seek ocd therapy? My goal currently is to get the intrusive thoughts and sensations down to the point where I can keep pursuing the things I pursued in the days of B.O (Before OCD)