Seeking support

I’m feeling a little lost right now. I’m going to try to keep it quick. I’ve been dating my partner for almost five years now and we still haven’t had piv better. I’ve been using dilators and my progress has been extremely slow and I haven’t made the most progress, however, I have made it to the third size in the plus one dilator kit I have. I’ve been trying to engage more in sexual activities and my partner acknowledges that I’ve been doing a better job. He suggested that if we aren’t able to try piv then we should try anal but the issue is that has been difficult for me to get my mind around that too and actually attempting to try any of that. I just feel alone and I don’t know how to satisfy him other than continuing to try and fail. He says he’s fine with failing if we try but I’m worried that’ll set my progress back because my tightness and pain is both physical and mental. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time. I have to end this here for now so sorry for lack of info