AITAH for not having more ‘family get togethers’ than a reception for our wedding?

My fiancé (26) and I (25) have been together for 5 years and recently got engaged. We initially planned on eloping/reception after but ultimately decided that we want to do a small private ceremony/reception to have our families be more involved in this pivotal moment in our lives.

Initially, my dad was supportive of eloping because of how expensive weddings can be. Now that we have decided to do a small private ceremony with immediate family and reception he has decided that it was incredibly disrespectful for us to have thought about eloping in the first place. He has also expressed that he believes that I am being disrespectful and uppity for not having an engagement party, bridal shower, reception dinner, and just having the reception as a celebration and declining following ‘tradition’. He mentioned something about how kids are too quick to blame their parents for their own mistakes or faults and cut them off and that I am being unreasonable about just wanting to have a reception.

The main argument is that they (my sibling and dad) need to get to know the family that I am marrying into and it’s my responsibility to make that happen. We have been together for years and he has met my finances parents a total of 3 times. This has never come up as an issue before this conversation, and he said that I should’ve taken the initiative to do so. I didn’t realize that it was expected of me to make this happen.

We’ve never had a ‘traditional’ family for as long as I have been alive. My dad’s side of the family has never gotten along and I don’t ever remember having family parties or anything that we didn’t end up leaving within the first hour due to an argument. He hasn’t spoken to anyone on his side of the family for years. My parents are divorced, and my grandparents are from two different countries and have never met. I no longer speak to my mom so it’s just my dad, sibling, and I that I call family.

I’m really at a loss here because this is exactly what I was afraid of happening, and I’ve seen similar things happen with friends during their time of getting married where families start to kinda implode. From my experiences though, the two families only really meet during their rehearsal, wedding, and reception. AITAH for just wanting to cut it down to the two??

For context: he has never prior to this mentioned helping pay for anything and during the argument he told me that he’s selling one of his vehicles to help pay for the wedding and I thought that came out of left field. I’m scared of having financial help because I don’t want that hung over our heads if we do things differently than how he thinks we should.
My finances parents have been really cool about everything and just want us to do whatever would make us happy but I know they were initially slightly disappointed that we wanted to elope initially.