i hate doing everything alone

Hello F15 here. I don’t know how much longer I can keep going/ doing this. I dont mind my own company but when it’s literally just me every single day with literally no one it becomes extremely difficult to see the point. Please dont hit me with “you’ll find your people eventually” or “you have your whole life ahead of you.” I’m so tired of hearing that. I’m tired of watching everyone my age have what seems like a normal life. I see it everywhere and it hurts more than I can explain. Growing up without a real social life and without friends affected/is affecting me in ways I don’t even know how to fix. I feel like I missed something everyone else learned naturally? The worst part is that even when I do find something that makes me happy it never lasts I’ll have a moment where I feel okay and then thw empty feeling comes back I’m stuck in the same cycle over and over. I have a hard time relating to people it feels like there’s nobody like me like there’s some part of me that’s missing or broken. I just don’t understand how I ended up like this. I feel like im slowly killing myself every day i feel less connected to everything around me and less like anything actually matters i dont even know what im doing it for anymore i dont just mean right now either i think about the future and i genuinely cant see what good any of this is supposed to do for me i dont know what im working towards or why im supposed to keep trying when everything feels so pointless and empty.