i understand now

i was no prize.

and you probably felt sorry for me.

everything else, every point of connection, was just imagined.

i’ve the tried the whole “this rejection only teaches me how to respect boundaries and keep trying with caution” angle.

keeping my heart open to possibilities and all that kind of stuff.

but now, i think just keeping to myself is best.

i am sad ill never have what some people have. that connection. i always imagined it for myself.

but in a way it’s nice to have it resolved: i am not a person to be loved by another.

so i must work doubly hard to love myself.

challenge accepted.

but i still can’t but hope i didn’t embarrass you.

sorry if i did.