How to have better trips?

So i started tripping this year and have done is about 7-8 times i believe, all were great and i havent necessarily had a “bad trip” yet aside from a single part of one but i had an experienced friend help guide me out if it. However most of my trips end with me feeling super awkward and sometimes even ashamed of stuff that was menial or i didnt even do. For example my friend lives in a messy apartment and after a trip there i was for some reason convinced i had literally gone feral and screwed up his apartment despite me having no memory of doing so or me doing that in the first place. Anyway my main question is how can i have more happy or nicer trips? I enjoy the deep though and such but if there were a way i could not feel do awkward after id be a whole lot happier. Thanks for any tips!