started off not impressed, now FIXATED on this manhwa/novel. thoughts dump

I was in a bit of a mood craving for some action-y BLs with obsessed MLs since I liked Code Anastasia and I really enjoyed Shutline. I always saw so many people praising Passion and squeeing about Ilay so I thought I'd give it a shot. And my god, what a journey.

Pardon me for some negativity up front. At the start, I was a bit bored with the slow burn in UNHRDO and turned off by how Ilay exists at a UN organization repeatedly killing employees and not being fired yet. I didn't really get Taeui's character other than that he seemed pretty unfazed by all of Ilay's harassment and kept talking constantly about Jaeui, a character who takes up so much 'screentime' despite not actually appearing. The one bit of interest I had was Xinlu, who definitely caught me by surprise when he slept with Ilay to keep him away from Taeui, I literally cannot think of another romance story where the ML and 2nd ML would do such a thing, especially during the story. It just seemed like a repeated cycle of Taeui weirdly hanging out and getting along well with Ilay while on his journey to date Xinlu. Going in blind, I wondered if there would be an interesting throuple twist and was even wondering if Ilay/Xinlu would get together while fighting over Taeui and possessing him together. If I'm not enjoying a manhwa, I usually just drop it, but I had sunken cost syndrome at this point, so I kept on reading.

And oh my god, as soon as Taeui leaves UNHRDO, it felt like EVERYTHING locks in. The moment he slapped Ilay I sat up holding my phone. The tensions, the stakes, the dialogue, the writing, the manhwa art all seemed to multiply in quality by x1000. I even had to check if the artist changed. As soon as the switch flips for Ilay to chase after Taeui it reveals that all of the previous UNHRDO-arc in hindsight was Ilay gradually growing an attachment that explodes into obsession once Taeui runs away. I was losing my mind at the phone call scene and intrigued with reports of Ilay losing his mind and the mirror scene with "The one who needs to believe I own you? It's me." Holy shittttt. And Taeui's gradual realization that Ilay is in love with him, Ilay struggling to want to kill Taeui to end this newfound torment(ed love), and XINLU'S POKEMON EVOLUTION??? And wow, the smut is really spicy too...

For the longest time I kept reading my favorite parts of the manhwa over and over until I couldn't take it anymore and read the novel. T_T Next upcoming part is so horribly painful but it's because you're so invested that it can hurt so bad. I can't wait to see it adapted.

I was also curious why Passion fans kept bringing up Diasim. To me it feels like the 2nd 'arc' of a BL manhwa or spinoff/sequel usually doesn't live up to the hype, all I knew was that Chris was a new love rival who liked Taeui and he gets with Richard, his cousin. For the longest time I thought Chris would be Xinlu 2.0 and Richard was like, his tortured bottom atticwife uke (not true at all AL;DKSJFASD). I went ahead and read Diasim and absolutely LOVED it. I felt like Yuuji had really evolved in her writing and pacing since part 1. I didn't expect how much Chris grows on you and how you're constantly hoping the best for him, and his bond with Taeui is genuinely so sweet. I adore how Diasim builds off of Iltae having already been a couple for several years since the end of Part 1 with Taeui and the audience getting to see different glimpses of Ilay, and Ilay and Taeui's love growing stronger with the wiretapping scene and better communication. I love the repeated bits of Taeui being put at risk directly at Ilay's hands, like the eraser bullet scene and the hoodie bar scene, and it culminates with the dark chase climax in Frankfurt. The decision to build it up to Frankfurt and then have Ilay suffer from PTSD and the fear of killing Taeui in Suite was incredible. It really does feel like you're spending years with these characters.

As for Richard and Chris? Ehhh I was just mostly reading for Iltae. Chris is way too good for Richard, =/ I just kept scrolling past their scenes. Way too dark and twisted for me. All the 🍇 really icked me, ew, no thanks.

NOT. NOT. NOT. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH?? THEYRE SO GOOD? As a preface, I've read lots of CN BL with chasing wife crematoriums, dogblood, angst, regret, black flags, etc. In comparison to some of those MLs, Richard is practically a saint. He's an amazing contrast to Ilay. My biggest complaint is that I wish we had more time with his regret/chasing of Chris, but I'm okay with what Diasim Suite provides us.

God I thought I loved Iltae but I ABSOLUTELY ADORED Richard & Chris. (Richarki? Richari?) Every single scene I was so hooked on Richard's warped obsessions and reactions towards Chris and the way he torments Chris is HORRIBLE, especially when triggering Chris's insecurities about his personhood and Chris's awful mom. The way they fight feral-style I was so stressed out. The way they clash and torment each other, the way Richard pulls out every weapon in his arsenal against Chris that ends up biting him in the ass and torturing himself in regret. The flashes of affection that Richard doesn't even realize, like when he and Ilay talk about Taeui and he wonders "if liking someone makes them more beautiful then how is that even possible for the most beautiful person in the world" AUUGHHh, the fact that this dynamic has been going on for life, the ongoing theme of Richard's desperate attempts to tie Chris to Tarten because He = Tarten but it's all muddied up in the name of all the politicking gets me so emotional and hyped up.

I thought the balance of screentime between the two couples was great, I loved that we had Iltae to bring in levity and romance and contrast but they had their own serious moments too, I adore Chris and his desperate yearning to be loved, that he sees in the form of Taeui, but held back by not being able to express it well. A bit of a hot take but although I think Chris genuinely loves Taeui, the reason why he wanted to pursue Taeui 'romantically' and 'take' him from Ilay was because 1) he's had such little affection in his life, he doesn't quite even comprehend 'friends' 2) due to that, Taeui's first suggestion of 'do you like me?', Chris who is still sorting out himself latched onto that and 3) because he identifies his love for Taeui as 'romantic' and has already kept close observation of Iltae, decides that should step in and replace Ilay but also 4) that yearning to be entirely possessed and loved manifests within him. I feel like that's a huge significance of the scene where he walks in on Iltae not just because he's sad about Ilay's assertion that Taeui is his, but because he wishes he could have someone with that much passion and depth of love towards him too. Which is Richard, except Richard needs to be emotionally burned at the stake first for himself to actually realize it.

When Chris's mannerisms serve to accidentally drive them further apart like pushing Oliver or Olivia's stray dog situation, when Chris shoots the Serringe guy and is about to shoot himself and Richard immediately grovels to save him, when all of Richard's attempts to chain Chris to Tarten only further drive Chris away, when Chris repeats what Bianca said to him to Richard and Richard feels ten billion lbs of guilt and rage and regret, it's all filled with toxicity and angst gives so much stress but I LOVE it?? I love Chris's naivete of 'gay sex isn't real' ALSDKFAD that goes like for a third of the story, when Richard gets stunlocked by Chris's smile, in Suite side when Chris can't bear the thought of Richard being dragged down by Assar and is willing to let himself get hurt for it, Richard repeatedly calling Chris's name over and over and Chris being SO affected by it, Chris getting others and himself to say his own name but realizing his heart only pounds when Richard says it, Richard spending like 10% of his time during the novel jacking off in the bathroom, Richard being so overcome with guilt and longing and yearning and aghgadsfasd IT'S GOOD?? I'm so excited to see Diasim adapted to manhwa... I do understand the majority of internet audiences nowadays, especially English-speaking, have a huge aversity to these sorts of toxic dynamics but nonetheless I feel like Yuuji did a masterful job with these two.

Anyways, I love that Iltae's relationship spans literal years in the novel, it really makes it feel like those early UNHRDO days were a high school dating era. Taeui as a main character really feels like he has to undergo the weight and trials of dating a psychopath boyfriend while also sticking to his guns to have his own identity and be a good person, it's incredible how over time their communication and their love for each other only grow. The Ilay we see in Suite, whose greatest fear is killing Taeui or getting Taeui killed, versus the detached nonchalant Ilay at the beginning is such a good contrast. Taeui's optimistic and extremely resilient personality is a breath of fresh air, he's not the kind to guilt trip or bemoan things. Once he's made up his mind to be with Ilay, he sticks to it and wants to make it work, and despite how unrealistic some aspects of Passion can be, this dynamic is still super compelling and really sweet and unique.

Ilay in particular is so fun and compelling, both as a character and especially as a ML. There's plenty of obsessive yandere 'super powerful/rich/can do anything' MLs in all sorts of fiction but what I really like about Ilay is that the story doesn't hit you with the full depth of his PASSION until this point. The way he's desperately in love with Taeui but can't use simple methods such as violence to get what he wants creates such a compelling struggle in what would normally be a shallow psychopath character. What I also really appreciate about PASSION is that despite Ilay's in-universe Gary Stu-ness, he's constantly having to struggle and lose. He frequently misunderstands, gets conflicted, undergoes failure, humiliation, etc. and grows over time. But what's amazing is that the story doesn't make excuses or pity him. The story isn't interested in 'redeeming' him or making him into a good person or providing a convenient tragic backstory. Ilay is Ilay and the best and worst things that have happened in his life happen during the course of the series, all because of Taeui.

Anyways I really like Passion/Diasim and I have still yet to read the novel portions of Raga...

It actually blows my mind this whole series was started in 2006. Twenty o'six. That was like, the era of Junjou Romantica, Viewfinder, Togainu No Chi, etc. It gives a strange feeling of fake nostalgia in that this classic in a genre (KR BL literature) I haven't had the chance to access/be notified to has had such a big gem for TWENTY years that can finally see the light of day due to the wonderful present manhwa adaptation.

It also makes me chuckle that the late 2020s manhwa adaptation has Taeui picking up a zoom call from Ilay in which he's literally in Kyle's office and Ilay doesn't recognize it since in the OG it was just a radio call aldskfjasdklKAJ;DSLFKA