I don't understand people.

I just got home from a trip with some friends. I spent days worrying what to bring and what to say when i was there. I recently heard that they had been talking a bit badly about me, but since my closer friend had been chill about it i assumed it was a thing of the past. We get there i try keeping eye contact and all that things.

Then the first situation pops up. What i heard a friend was Talking about places they wanted to move in the further and that Amsterdam might be a place they wanted to go. I try being friendly and said "Oh but Amsterdam is a really nice city" My closer friend and this friend laughs Loudly like i have said the most crazy thing but because the underlying conversation had been about drugs. They didn't mention it. At all i was just supposed to know. They taunted me for a while then the conversation moved on.

Then we started chatting about dating. They made fun of me, my preferences in people. Which i really don't have any other standards other than being Friendly. Then they taunt me for having been in a relationship with my Ex.

Then the entire conversation becomes about taunting me. I play along because what else am i supposed to do? They taunt me for not being able to pick up on people flirting with me. Then my close friends tells me She had been hitting on me but i couldn't pick up the signs that "she laid out" i said she specifically told me she was only joking about that stuff. But she said i should been able to understand when people were lying.

I got interrupted so many times through the night. I feel like a child trying to talk with the adults. I don't understand the tone of the conversation. I don't understand why people say one thing and mean another thing. I don't understand why i keep being taunted. I don't understand why I'm the only person not being able to get close to anyone!

I am so frustrated! I feel like I'm behind a glass trying to articulate what I'm trying to say. It so frustrated and my closes friends keeps Secrets and talks badly about me.

I'm just lost and so hurt.

I'm sorry this got long and probably very confusing. I just needed to get my toughts down somewhere. Any tips or advice would be appreciated.