I feel so overwhelmed by nothing and its my own fault

It's stupid, really. and its all my own making.

Ive always had a bad habit of biting off more than I could chew. Ive done it again, and whilst in the grand scheme of things I shouldn't even worry about these things, its piling on top of itself so much to the point I feel unable to do anything about any of it.

I'm home from university from the summer. I Hate being home and not having my own place. Which really isn't helping with things. Not being reliant on myself makes me less likely to do other things I need to.

I have a commission to finish. The customer hasn't paid yet, but said they'll pay before I ship it, so I tell myself I don't need to finish it. But I'll feel awful knowing I frankly have no energy or motivation to finish it. its 90% done yet I feel the overwhelming urge to delete my commissions account to avoid this.

I am a film student. I am one of the editors and writers of a film club film. Ive lost all love for this film. I feel as if the script was a formality. It went in the complete opposite direction whilst filming and got rid of so many parts I was proud of. before shooting, the producers and directors kept emphasising how they wanted to preserve our vision. so much for that, I suppose. as for the edit itself, the footage is.... not good. barely any coverage. the takes the camera report considers "good" are only considered good as they were simply the least bad. Just to get through to the next shot. I can't find the motivation to edit this film. I hate it.

I just want to drop out of it. But I need to build my portfolio, especially if I want to get a good work experience placement. also, the next year of our corse has people hiring others for their films. I want to be known as reliable. but I get so scared and demotivated and upset and I just want to crumble.

I have also filmed a music video that I plan to edit. I want to begin it so badly. But I need to do this one first.

Im working 20 hours a week in retail. Not much at all, I know. dumb thing to complain about. But ive been so genuinely depressed that after each shift (I have 4 5 hour shifts a week) I just sleep all day. and any day I am not working I will be forced to do something with my family which just makes me equally as exhausted.

again. its stupid. But I feel like this constant burnout is so intrinsic in my life, and that for one reason or another, I will never be able to feel relaxed.