Raising my own family after being raised by n-parents

When I was growing up, kids were meant to be seen — not heard. We never did anything fun as a family , my n-parents would literally NEVER contemplate taking the time, energy or money to take their kids to a fun fair , museum, special outing, etc. It was unthinkable. You played in the backyard, watched TV, went somewhere with friends and the n-parents worked, slept or drank alcohol with their friends. If we ever did something fun like visit the zoo or go to a park, etc. it was because family were in town or there was a special invite there.

Now that I am an adult with my own family I find it hard to relax and do things with my own kids. I feel like it is a a huge “treat” to go to a concert or drive somewhere , do things. I fight this feeling and I do things with my kids and take them places and expose them to the community and normal people doing healthy things bc I think it’s sooo important. But I struggle figuring out how to do it. Sometimes I feel guilty if they even have a single quiet afternoon doing nothing bc I am scared I am turning into my n-parents. It’s a huge fear of mine that I am a lousy parent and that if I let my foot off the gas and stop “doing” for my kids, this secret monster will come out that is my n-parents and I will become this neglectful, resentment monster. Of note: I do NOT drink so I am nothing like my parents in that regard and if we are home, I am NOT drinking in front of the TV.