The type of heartbreak that kills you slow

I fell in love with my best friend in high school. I used to be an introverted loner and she was the first girl who ever showed any interest in me. Slowly our friendship deepened and it was kinda unbelievable how many things we had in common. It didn't take me a long time to figure out that I was madly in love. After 2 years of our friendship I asked her out, and she didn't reject me, but rather told me to wait because she was not ready for any commitment. I waited. Later that year, i noticed her getting distant and it killed me when I found out that she started dating someone else. I was devastated and we stopped talking. It was hard to go through that phase. Really hard.

We reconnected last year, after she had broken up with the guy she was dating back then. We started talking and things clicked again. She even apologised to me, said sorry to me a countless times and promised me that she'd never let me go again, and that I didn't deserve to go through all that. I believed her, and the months that followed went really well, we almost talked everyday and about everything, and nobody could tell that we were 'just friends'. She even opened up to me about her traumas, which is a huge deal as she's an avoidant and hates vulnerability.

Earlier this year we graduated and we stopped seeing each other regularly, but we still chatted like we used to.

But recently, she's been acting distant again. She even mentioned that she has made new friends which kinda made me jealous. I don't wanna confess again and ruin whatever we have and i also don't wanna lose her again like I did back in 2024. I'm getting the flashbacks. I don't know what to do.

She's been my first love as well as the first person i can refer to as a best friend. It sucks when the person you've been loving and caring all along for years starts ignoring you suddenly. I don't wanna be replaced. Please.

Should I ask her if she ever felt the same towards me? (which I'm damn sure she did, because of our past conversations and interactions, but she never said it out loud)

Should I pretend nothing happened?

Should I cut her off?

Please, I'm in desperately in need of some help. I can't focus on anything else. She's such a big part of my life, that the thought of losing her almost feels like losing myself.