The night I said yes to two of them

I’m 42. It started as drinks with a friend of a friend and his buddy. We were at a low-key bar, nothing fancy. The conversation got flirty. Then it got direct. One of them asked if I wanted to come back to their place. The other one watched my face when I said yes.

Their apartment was close. We barely got inside before someone was kissing me. Clothes started coming off in the living room. I ended up on the couch on my knees with one of them in my mouth while the other one touched me from behind. They switched after a while. Then one of them sat down and I climbed on top of him while the other stood in front of me. I took turns between them, moving from one to the other until my jaw ached and my legs were shaking.

Eventually they had me on the bed. One under me, one behind me. It took a minute to find a rhythm but once we did it felt overwhelming in the best way. I came with both of them inside me in different ways, one hand braced on the headboard. They finished close together, one after the other. We lay there for a while afterward, quiet and sweaty. Someone got water. Someone found a towel.

I left around two in the morning. Drove home in silence. Showered longer than usual. Got into bed next to my husband who was already asleep. Stared at the dark ceiling and replayed the whole night. I’ve thought about messaging one of them since then. I haven’t. But the memory still hits me at random times and I have to press my thighs together until it passes.