manacles of the mind

Do you think life is very good even in your most regretful time?You feel like you lost all hope in living..evening breathing. Opening your eyes and looking around what was left made you realise there is nothing in this river of sorrow and walls of shame made like a prison around you, the hope in your heart was replaced by guilt of what you done and what could have been better, you realised the world wont change or nobody will ever care even if you just disappear into thin air, because you were nothing for them. You wished for someone to break through the walls and the thorns in your heart and tell you ‘everything will be fine…’ the times where you wanted to live was replaced by waiting for death..just enough to end the pain and suffer you have in your soul, the burden you were carrying is filled with red and black  shining stones showing the depth of the cuts that are in you. How long can you carry it?

 The thought of death started to sound like a paradise for you, death something you could never imagine was your comfort…oh how the heavens looks down on you, my child…. Even the devil couldn't help you in your tragic state…you are not safe my little one ..you are not.. the mother who fed has left you for the wilderness.. The father who helped you walk ,has run away from you ….

You remembered the days when you smiled and looked at the sky with hope for the future , instead of the memories  helping you...it felt like an arrow piercing through you. There was nothing left to be alive for… parents..siblings..friends… they never were there when you needed them the most… you were the dirt  that was stuck to them. Your will to live was already broken  from the beginning but now it was burned into ashes right in front of your eyes, slowly everything started to vanish before you. 

You curled up in the corner of the wall that you created to be alone, just waiting for the agony to ruin you…