Help: I am stuck in the midgame

Hello there, been playing Bannerlord for like 60 hours. I am a Nord vassal. I have 1.000.000 gold, clan tier 4, with every merchant, convoy, group members and sub-groups avaible. Also workshops.

But despite all of this, I struggle heavily in wars and can't seem able to progress, mainly because the AI sucks (for example, AI allies tend to attack deep inside enemy territory, instead of going gradually and not be surrounded later) and because despite conquering FOUR CITIES by myself, they ALWAYS ignore me in the voting (so far I have only TWO CASTLES, no CITIES).