want someone who acts like they actually hate me so they can fix me

we talk about limits beforehand and set a safeword while still talking online. starting to feel good about it, but when we meet up it's such a tone shift that it feels like you genuinely hate me. you're rough, as i like, but it hurts, so much, and as i ask you to slow down you just slap me across the face and tell me to shut the fuck up, telling me to use the fucking safeword if i really mean it. but i don't, ofcourse i don't, you're abusing me in the ways i want, being transphobic, calling me names, degrading and humiliating me until i cant think straight anymore, just using me until you can convince me I'm a stupid girl 😵🥴