Today I was reminded of why u was diagnosed with C-PTSD

TW: mentions of domestic familial violence, alcoholism.

Hey everyone. This is more of a vent because a lot happened today and I need a hug. Or words. Or anyone that’s going through sibling physical abuse

To make a long story short, my sibling tried killing me today after the police showed up to our apartment. And for the first time in a long time, I was scared for my life. I just wanted them to get help… I did not call the cops because I am pretty sure he would’ve killed me.

This person has substance use disorder and is an extreme alcoholic. Living with them lead me to getting a C-PTSD diagnosis because unfortunately, I still live with them. Losing my job and having to live with my parent.. it fucking sucks. Losing my externship because my sibling wanted to sabotage (those are his words) is just. 😢

I hate having flashbacks. I hate being unable to handle someone opening a can. Every single fucking time someone opens up a can, I get scared. Someone opening a bottle. The smell of alcohol. It’s all triggering. I hate it. I want to get back to where I once was. I was depressed but at least I took better care of myself.

Now, I’ve neglected parts of my life just to keep myself alive.

I don’t know. I’m sorry. I just need some love. ☹️