I feel so alone

I feel so alone Im 21 I live with my stepdad he's homophobic and transphobic and I live in the south like rural south and I wish I was a girl so badly I can't keep doing this anymore I feel trapped and I just can't deal with it anymore I'm so scared and so tired I just want to give up honestly I don't know what to do everything hurts I just wish I could be normal I didn't choose to be this way I have no money to transition and no support no car no job and no one I can tell I'm so alone I've asked chat gpt so many times what to do I've called the suicide hotline so many times but it feels pointless in the end I feel like I'm going to die soon I don't want to die but I feel like I have no other option