Some important headlines that tell you who exactly is at fault for the country's situation

📰 Delhi AQI crosses 500. Experts blame Jinnah for failing to install enough air purifiers before Partition.

📰 Monsoon flooding continues. Archaeologists confirm the Indus Valley Civilization failed to build drainage infrastructure capable of handling 2026 rainfall.

📰 Unemployment rises. Economists trace the crisis back to Gautama Buddha encouraging young people to quit their jobs and seek enlightenment.

📰 Another major exam paper leaked. Authorities suspect Chanakya is once again applying Arthashastra tactics.

📰 Petrol now contains 20% ethanol. Historians blame the ancient Indians for inventing soma and normalizing intoxication.

📰 Corruption remains rampant. Experts say Alexander the Great invaded India but left without conducting a proper administrative handover.

📰 Taxes still feel too high. Akbar reportedly insisted Fatehpur Sikri needed "just one more courtyard."

📰 Traffic worsens across major cities. Sher Shah Suri blamed for introducing the dangerous concept of roads.

📰 Police brutality during CJP protests. Officials confirm the lathi charge was planned by Genghis Khan, who remains at large.

Current government thanks historians for another productive day of governance. Ps lets hear more such headlines who tell you who to blame for the current state of the country.

!If anyone thought this was fr, let me make this very clear that this was always hyperbolic satire. !<