I just turned 17 and I want to kms

I am 17 now and all I can think about is 2 months ago when I hooked up with a 14 year old girl when I was 16 online not knowing that her birthday was 4 months after mine, when I noticed how immature she was I stopped talking to her and asked for her birthday, But we had already done explicit stuff.. I told my mom I didn't want to go anywhere on my birthday or do anything. Not ever cake. I don't deserve anything.