The feeling of need being depressed enough

I want to keep this as short and to the point as possible, but I want to know if anyone experiences this like I do. I struggle a lot with my mental health, all the time, sometimes with "reason" and sometimes just because my depression is at its worst.

The issue is I often struggle to seek help, or at least be fully honest when I do, because I worry that I'm never depressed enough. I've gotten to points in the past where I've even considered ending it all, even gone as far as to make a plan, and I feel like if I were to express that to someone they would view me as spoiled in some way, or like I should appreciate what I have more. Maybe that my depression is nowhere near on the level of others, so I shouldnt beg for attention.

It's not like I would ever feel this way about anyone else opening up about the same thing, by the way. That's what confuses me most. It's like for myself I build up this feeling of not deserving help yet cause I've not reached the threshold, no matter how bad it gets, even though I would tell anyone else to open up ASAP.

I guess I'm just wondering if this is a common experience for anyone else, and if so, how you deal with it?