Is letting trauma from an ex-partner define how I approach sexual intimacy a sign I am still shackled by her and haven't moved on?

Long story short, my ex was constantly cheated, extremely rough during sex, and would engage in said affairs during sex (she couldn't stop checking, texting, and flirting on her phone).

Since I've left her, I request and preface from new sexual partners that they need to be gentle, provide reassurance that I'm being looked at, and that there are absolutely no phones in the bedroom! Not a big ask, and I've had 0 problems at all so far!

I feel confident that I've moved on from the horrors of that relationship, but also I feel that I haven't because the betrayal and hurt I felt still echo in my sexual boundaries/requests. If I were to enter another long-term relationship, would having such boundaries mean I am not technically over her/haven't processed the hurt?

Overall my mental health is pretty great through years of therapy, introspection, and community support. I've had much time to bolster my confidence and be radiant, but I won't lie these fears have me waver if I actually have achieved all that.