Trying to get out of this rut.

I've been maxed out mentally for 4 years/ over capacity and at my breaking point. I've lost a dog, got out of an abusive relationship, struggled to leave the house without having panic attacks, and ended up hospitalized. I lost an Aunt to cancer and a cousin to OD. I've had back to back stuff between mental and physical health issues which had lead to inconsistent employment. Trying to sell my house and move towns so I'm not constantly triggered. (My counselor and I discussed that this could be beneficial to get a change of scenery.)

I'm back in school online so I can get a job that is conducive of having chronic health issues, like remote work. I'm temporarily living with my parents while I wait on the sale of the house, my job background to come back and my apartment credit to be approved. I'm in limbo and dealing with maximum stress and anxiety.

I've lost a couple friends over the last year because I just have not been able to maintain good communication or show up for all my friends as much as I should have/ they deserve. I understand why they pulled out but it really hurts.

The cherry on top is I just got a $500 utility bill because days before the sale of my house finalized, I find out my sprinkler had been leaking for who knows how long so I have to also pay to have that fixed.

I've had little to no breaks for 4 years to bring myself back under max capacity. I have a short fuse, and my body hurts. Like, I'm in physical pain from the anxiety. My re-regulation techniques are not cutting it right now.