feel like I’m completely falling apart. Solo parenting, hostile family, health scares, and waiting on Pap smear results (12 months PP).

Problem/Goal:

Toxic household, unsupportive partner...i want to have proper insight about this so i can clear my mind for somwhow

Context:

This is my 2nd post,i deleted the first and trued to talk things with my partner whos indecisive still..

Hi everyone,

I humbly apologize in advance if this post is a bit messy or all over the place. Things have gotten ridiculously heavy lately, and honestly, opening up to strangers online feels like the only safe space I have left right now. I’m just really drained and desperately needing some advice on how to survive all of this.

I’m a full-time healthcare worker and a mom to a sweet 1-year-old. My partner has been away in his home province for four days attending his sister’s wake, which left me completely alone to hold down the fort, working shifts, solo parenting, and trying to keep my head above water since im supprting also my parents, father stoppedworking to pursued his interest (no income at all) while mom continue to work

Instead of getting any support, my own parents have been making my life living hell. They constantly belittle me, judge every single move I make, and blame me the second our baby gets sick or cries. I feel like a total scapegoat in my own home. On top of that, whenever I video call my partner to give updates about our sick baby, I end up feeling like absolute garbage, like I’m a burden or an unwanted interruption to his family while they're grieving.

Physically, my body is crashing down on me. For several months now, I’ve been getting my period twice a month. I’ll bleed for a week, and then two weeks later, it starts all over again. I recently started weaning my baby, but the non-stop blood loss is causing such severe dizziness and fatigue that I can barely function at work. I also had severe vaginal itchiness recently, and I just got a Pap smear done to figure out what’s going on inside. The health anxiety while waiting for those results is genuinely eating me alive.

My sanity, my physical health, and my job performance are completely shot. I told my partner today that we NEED to move out into our own place as soon as he gets back, because I just can't keep living under this kind of emotional and physical stress.

Has anyone here dealt with bleeding twice a month this late postpartum, especially around the time you started weaning? Could this be extreme hormonal chaos mixed with stress? And honestly, how do I cope with the guilt, the family toxicity, and the terrifying wait for medical results when I’m already running on empty?

Thank you so much to anyone who takes the time to read this. Any comforting words, advice, or shared experiences would mean the world to me right now.

Previous attempts: i continue to lay out plans for my partner, ubderstand my parents at all but nothingbworks, i wanted to end this cycle,pls help.