i think i confuse organizing with studying

been looking at my notion board for the past hour. its beautiful. color coded. has links to tutorials, pdfs, video playlists. i spent more time setting this up than actually watching any of those videos.

the weird thing is i know im doing it. i catch myself reaching for "one more resource" before starting. like if i just find the perfect youtube explainer, THEN ill understand everything instantly. but realistically i already have 4 tabs of "perfect" resources open from last week that i never watched.

honestly i think its just fear of the hard part. organizing is safe. not knowing something is uncomfortable. so i keep building the perfect study setup instead of actually studying.

anyone relate or just me