Need reassurance

Baby is 10 weeks old tomorrow. My plan throughout pregnancy was to breastfeed him, I really tried but struggled and ultimately decided to formula feed. Last week my HV mentioned relactation, so I thought I’d give it a shot. They lent me a wall pump and I bought a wearable pump for the days I’m solo parenting baby and my 2yo. Today is day 4 and I cannot bring myself to put the pump on, I look at it and I feel rage. I’ve had small success already when some people are pumping dry for weeks but I just physically or mentally can’t cope with pumping again. It’s exhausting.

I feel like such a failure because on two occasions I’ve failed to do what I set out to do. Am I quitting too soon? I’ve felt so good mentally on the whole this postpartum compared to my first child but this whole relactation thing is making me spiral