Guilt from an extra cracker.

I was supposed to have 3. That's what I eat every day - 3 peanut butter crackers. That's what I'm allowed.

I ate them at 12:35. Then I had one more at 3:15.

Now I feel regret. I feel heavy. I feel wrong.

94.4 pounds this morning. 5'5. I've been thinner. I'm a failure. I'm full of shit until I'm at least 88. Then maybe I can relax.

My body hurts. I'm tired of this. 25 years of relapsing, trying, relapsing, trying. My body is shot. I'm in my 30s. I'm too old for this.

Failure. Lazy. Overdramatic. Invalid.