30 F My mom’s anxiety over my marriage is breaking my heart

I’m turned 30 last month, and I honestly don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He has made it clear that he won’t even bring up the topic of marriage until his PhD is completely finished. It was supposed to be over by now, but it got extended by another six months.

What breaks me isn’t just the waiting. It’s watching my parents, especially my mom, live with this uncertainty every single day. They have known about him for over a year, so they’re not looking for an arranged match either. There is no engagement, no conversation between families, no timeline—just waiting.

Every day I can see my mom becoming more anxious. In our social circle, people constantly ask about my marriage, and she has nothing to say except that we’re waiting. I feel like she’s carrying this burden because of me, and it hurts more than I can explain.

I understand that a PhD is important, but I don’t understand why there can’t even be a conversation or some reassurance before it’s over. Right now, it just feels like everyone in my family is expected to wait indefinitely while life stays on hold.