i dont know what am i doing wrong

Hey all, so I’ve (21m) been with my girlfriend (20f) for almost 2 years now and I always thought that she’s the love of my life. We absolutely match on everything, but lately (almost 6 months), I feel like I'm losing my mind and I don't know how to handle this anymore.

Most of the time during her days she is constantly surrounded by people who stress her out because of her particular family conditions. We live at a distance, so our only method of communicating is through calls or pastimes. However, I've always noticed how she has a really low patience threshold; I mean, if I say something in a tone that might seem misunderstood, even after clarifications there is a chance she will still get offended by it. Now, I don't have a very good memory and I often forget what I wanted to say at various times, but to give an example, I had a stressful day today, where out of nervousness I tried to limit the things I did to avoid overstimulating myself, but I was still looking for her attention even if she spent the majority of the time watching TikToks on her own. Then she breaks the silence and we talk about the itinerary of things to do during our anniversary (next month), so she takes notes and I organize everything. I do it by following her previous itinerary since she is very precise about these things, and she tells me at frist that it's fine. Up to here, nothing wrong, but remember this part.

At a certain time, I started taking my dog for a walk. For about 10 minutes I was silent trying to calm myself, just enjoying the silence because i tried various failed attempts at being comforted by her, then I broke the silence and wanted to tell her I loved her, but she responds in a cold and annoyed tone, mumbling something. I ask her to repeat and she responds with the same tone 'What?' So I ask her if everything is ok before I was going to say that. She stays silent for 2 seconds and goes back to watching TikToks, ignoring me for the rest of the time. As soon as I get home she hangs up on me (she does this very often when she gets angry or makes up a stupid excuse, saying goodbye to me coldly).

So, with the nervousness I already had, I try to vent on my own and subsequently write to her to understand what was happening, if something had happened at home or if she was ok. She replies after 1 hour with 'uhm?', and I repeat to her what she did and wanted to ask if everything was ok. After more time she replies that I make her angry, that I treat her badly, and that I wasn't giving her attention on her day off. Now, I can understand that on an emotional level you care a lot about each other's presence and even a tiny signal can make you sad, but this is objectively false. we talk every day from morning until dinner, and then after dinner until bedtime. The only times she works is just in the evening, but even after work we stay on a call. However, I put this aside and apologize to her, and I don't want her to be angry, especially on this day when she had told me for days that she had to go out with a school friend. She says she never said that (I remember the conversation precisely) and that I always make things up, telling me not to insist and 'not to act like usual.'

I take a moment to calm down because this has happened another time, and in our arguments I always try to converse while on the other side I am given chronological lists of things I did wrong, how I never change, and various insults. So I try to seek a dialogue and apologize, and she gives me a cold response like she wants to close the conversation in a 'neutral' way with a simple 'it's okay'. Later she calls me and we spend the whole evening together. We play Fortnite (her favorite game) as usual and the classic playful things happen, like stealing some kills. Well, every time she takes it seriously and holds a grudge. I tried to explain to her that in the video game world it's also okay to insult each other or whatever because at the end of the day it's a game and the emotion of the moment is more about laughing it off. Plus, I'm used to playing as a team while for her it's a territorial race. Anyway, she gets bored and we switch to various games until late at night. We start having various intimate moments until she says a phrase that technically was innocent and meant to start a spicy moment, but it made me uncomfortable because she said it with an almost technical term.

So I just ask her to repeat it and she stays silent, gets offended, doesn't talk to me for about 30/40 minutes, and then starts mumbling phrases. I ask her to repeat them because her phone has always had audio issues, but she ignores me. It happens again 2 times and finally, she makes up an excuse to hang up on me. Then she starts with the messages: 'You're a jerk, you're starting to treat me terribly, you don't love me anymore, I trusted you and made sacrifices.' And then she asks if I loved her as before. This already destroyed me emotionally because I have always loved her and will never stop doing it. Then I try to reassure her and explain that in that context, however, I felt uncomfortable and using another term would have continued our spicy moment. She starts making a list of things that led her to get angry, like 'the itinerary was done terribly after you promised me you knew how to do it, on Fortnite you did dozens of things that annoyed me, you didn't give me attention on my days off, you never change, it always happens like this,' starting to tell me that I was oppressing her, suffocating her, and that I was the one distancing myself from her.

I tried to explain to her how it was absolutely not like that, and that creating a wall and a trial for who is to blame leads nowhere, but that we needed to talk together, understand each other's emotions and not just one person's, so we could get through it together. She kept repeating the same things and that i always lie to her because i say this but "you just say sorry and try to justify yourself, acting like we are separated and not a couple" painting me like a monster who practically mistreated her, and the problem is that almost always happens like this: in arguments she makes a list of my chronological mistakes, tells me that I never change, that I put nothing into the relationship, and that 'I do nothing to be loved.' Plus, if I try to answer her in any way, for her it's fuel on the fire; but if instead I try to take a moment to respond, for her it's ignoring her, so it's also fuel on the fire.

I tried in every way to explain my love to her, to understand her state of mind by explaining how I am in a dark moment of my life due to economic, family, and work issues but i always spent most of the time for her and she knows this because this puts me in crisis since, as she planned, I will have to go live with her because she can't stand the distance, even at the cost of getting me into debt and make me leave my family. Anyway, she repeated the same things and took every attempt of mine at peaceful dialogue to understand how the other felt as an extra reason to sink a knife into my heart, saying that she no longer trusts me, doesn't believe in my promises, doesn't believe me anymore, and that I am the one who no longer loves her like before. So before reaching the end of the discussion she says again that I am ignoring her, so I reply that I can't answer if I see messages where I am painted as a monster when I always thought I was doing good. So she deleted all the messages and said that therefore I didn't care how she felt, to close the discussion here because for her I didn't care at all how she felt and that she will never open up to me again, besides phrases like 'I tried to open up with you instead of doing like I do with my friends, since you decided to act like this then I will treat you like them.'

I specify that I couldn't sleep and even now I am feeling so fragile that even with my social relation issues, I am so tired that I made this post.

Now, this pattern I think it's called 'walking on eggshells' is really frequent, if not constant, every time she gets offended by anything, especially when an argument is based on my memory forgetting little details that irritates her ( like the fortnite ones ). I tried to send her a long final message explaining all the points, from my love for her, to what I think positively of her thats makes me sure that she can do it to understand both reasons without making the other feel so bad, and that things that hurt each other need to be seen together and overcome together, concluding with a goodnight hoping she could sleep. She only answered me again with the usual phrases that she doesnt want to talk to me anymore without even reading because "im tired of your long messages..... i wont read them anymore".

So as the title say i dont know what is happening, am i wrong? what is happening to her? am i really a bad boyfriend that forgets small details? i really love her and i know that there are some problems but i want to fix them together with time and i dont want to loose here, i just want to know how to make her understand this concept without her putting up walls, hoping to get a response before she probably dumps me lol

tl;dr i dont know what am i doing wrong