I am ruining my life in all measures.

Well I thought having so many hobbies, so many things to do when I am free, meeting people from here and there. Just wanting to romanticize life. I thought it gets better. My thoughts are getting stronger and I don't know how to deal with this anymore. My head hurts I wish I could shut it down. It's kinda affecting my job and my body is getting thinner, I am feeling so much pain from here and there. I just work it out. I think my therapist just meets me for the sake of it. All I could do is cry until I get my heart's content. I have no one to share as everybody knows how much of a strong person I am.

But man I get so tired... I was even told to attend church often which I do. But why is it not getting better?