Have you ever worked a job

Decided its time to really lock in on money after looking in the mirror and seeing my face begging for ffs. And also i really wanna move out so i was planning on working and saving for like a year then quitting and splurging my money in thailand getting ffs then using the left over money on school or a car or an apartment. Buuuttt tbh if i get ffs kinda revolves around if im out as a tranny to my parents which i might be in a year but probably not it depends how stable i am financially.

Tbh thinking about the future is so fucking intimidating like i dont know how to do anything i dont wanna be a bum forever i feel so useless not working a job and living with my parents even though im not even old yet but like. Deciding how you want to spend your life fucking sucks its so stressful because it feels so fragile. One wrong move and im homeless or working a dead end job for EVER.

But ay i have to contribute to society to justify my existence amirite? I cant just fully enjoy my life haha. Tbf society probably would crumble if nobody worked. Or would capitalism crumble? I dunno. On one hand i shouldnt laze around all day but if we wanna call ourselves a modern society i shouldn't have to slave away for the privilege of living in a tiny space w 2 ppl.

Tbh im aro probably but considering dating just so im not lonely in life. Is love even real or are we all just looking for a person we can fall on when shit get to real idk. Its probably pathetic but working is a big change for me and im gen scared.