Value as a woman

So earlier while driving from resto to home idk how my boyfriend of five years(M25) and I(F25) got into a topic of having a family. I have PCOS and nasabi ko na to sa kanya early stage ng relasyon namin, his reaction was sweet pa non kaya I had hopes he said na he’ll grow old with me and fine kung wala. Alam ko naman na he wants kids and i’m fine with it naman. I just can’t shrug off yung fact na there is possibility na hindi magkaanak or hirap magkaanak due to PCOS. We had a serious talk and I got frustrated kasi hindi niya ata gets yung ibig kong sabihin na, yes I want to have kids pero pag hindi binigay, whats gonna happen next?. Meron akong nakikitang instances na wala talaga. Yes, I am overthinking kasi why am I thinking this kahit wala pa naman. He also said na pano kung meron? I said edi meron pero pano kung wala? His response shocked me kasi sabi niya he only live once and he wants to have kids. So sabi ko edi lahat ng memories we shared together for 5 years kahit mahal natin ang isat isa, wala nalang yun kasi I cant produce a kid. That’s it. I’ll be dumped kasi my value had degraded just because I cant have a kid. I admit na emotionally immature siya and whenever we talk about future, wala akong matinong sagot na nakukuha sa kaniya. It’s easy to say na “just dump him or know your values, etc” but its hard kung you invested a lot of time and shared memories together tapos will just end just because di ako makaanak. My heart broke into pieces and I felt numbed even while typing this. I dont know what to do. I cant be depressed kasi in a month I need to go to school and I need to be mentally okay in order for me to function normally.

What’s crazy is that andaming reason to leave but I always find one to stay, antanga diba? God has showed me a lot of times na to get away but its very hard. Sobra. He doesn’t try his best para manlanv ipakita na my future is good in his hands. That’s non negotiable sakin pero dahil mahal ko, I turned blind eye.

Im saying this out loud so universe will hear me na sana sa susunod na mamahalin ko, ill be happy without buts and what ifs, and will be treated/loved the way I want it to be.