20F in an abusive home: Should I stay 1 year to finish high school (Bac) or move out, work, and do Bac Libre?
Hi everyone, I’m a 20-year-old female in urgent need of perspective on what my next move should be.
To give context: I live in an extremely toxic household with severe physical, financial, and emotional abuse. When I was 17, I ran away to escape the situation and tried to continue my studies on my own. However, my family managed to track me down and destroyed everything I had built, forcing me to return home.
Since returning, the abuse and threats have restarted. My mother has always spoken horribly about me to my younger brothers, encouraging them to hit me to "act like men." While one brother promised to stay by my side, the other actually hit me once. That crushed me because I’m the one who practically raised them when they were babies.
Now, my primary goal is to get my High School Diploma (Baccalaureate / Bac) so I can build a future and be independent. I am torn between two choices:
Option A: Stay at home for one year to focus purely on studying and passing the Bac, while trying to endure the abuse and maintain a low profile (grey rocking). Option B: Move out immediately, find a job to support myself financially, and take the Bac Libre (private candidate) exam while working.
For those who have been in similar situations:
Is it realistic to study for and pass the Bac Libre while working full-time to cover rent and basic needs? Given the physical safety risks and family interference, is staying for one year worth the risk? How can I safely plan my departure this time so they cannot find me or sabotage me again?
Any advice, personal experiences, or safety guidance would mean a lot. Thank you.
Posted Jul 29, 2026, 6:59 AM UTC