Found out I’m pregnant after traumatic first birth

I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant with baby no2, which I’m both excited and very anxious about due to previous birth trauma.

My first pregnancy (2 years ago) was textbook throughout. No major issues during pregnancy, and went full term.

During the early stages (midwife booking appointment), I was asked all about my birth preferences, etc. I was very open minded, and the majority of my answers were yes to anything a medical professional may decide as being best for me and baby. This included agreeing to have an episiotomy if they thought I was at risk of tearing.

Fast forward to my daughter being born.. I went into hospital after feeling no movement for 48 hours (I was terrified something had happened, and thought the worst). Luckily they were able to find a heartbeat, but due to being full term, I was given 2 options - the first being to go home and keep an eye on things, or the second which was recommended to me, being start the process of induction.
Being a first time mum who I must admit hadn’t looked into induction at all, I simply went with the doctors recommendation. After all, I just wanted my baby to be safe, and it seemed to me at the time, this would be the only way to guarantee her safety.
It would mean they would keep an eye on her movements and heartbeat, and I felt it was the safest option for us.

Fast forward less than 24 hours (after only having the propess pessary), and an intense labour from start to finish, my daughter was born.

I sustained a bad 3rd degree tear going into my back passage, as well as a 2.4 litre postpartum haemorrhage.
I was in theatre for 2.5 hours after her birth, with my husband not knowing what was happening and myself convinced I would never see my daughter grow up and that I was going to bleed out and die.

2 years on, we knew we wanted another baby, but I can’t help but feel extremely anxious due to what happened in my previous pregnancy.

I feel like we completely lost all trust in the midwives that day (the surgeons on the other hand, who saved my life, I still trust impeccably).

We had birth afterthoughts at the time and two things that came out of it were -
The senior midwife had no idea why I wasn’t given an episiotomy and was allowed to tear like I did (not helpful when you consented to one at the very beginning, and still have issues with my back passage to this day because of said tear)

The second being, she believed the reason why I haemorrhaged was down to 2 things -

1. from looking at my notes, the strength of my contractions going on for too long (said I had womb exhaustion in the end)
2. I was actually anaemic when I gave birth (not that it was picked up on by my midwife), and this meant that when I bled out, my body couldn’t clot my blood, so I just carried on bleeding)

After several jabs, drips etc, to try and make my blood clot, the only thing that helped was a bakri balloon (which was in place for 24 hours). Had that not have worked, I would have my womb removed.

I sorry if this isn’t the easiest read and it’s all over the place, but I think I’m just looking for a bit of reassurance and if anyone has been through anything similar, what happened with a second pregnancy?

I’m UK based, in case that helps.
Thank you x