Onlyfans purchase regret

I made an onlyfans to subscribe to a girl that was a year older than me in school when i found out she did onlyfans… i always had a crush on her and we both moved to different cities after graduating. I recently paid her 2,000 dollars to take a video of her farting in the bathtub and she mailed me a mason jar of the bathwater so i could drink it… im regretting spending money so stupidly and feel sick to my stomach for scooping that low..