2 years out

My divorce wasn’t neat. It was messy and emotional. Emotional on my part. She had already moved on before the separation and seemed to just revel in the mess and causing as much heartache and drama as possible on the way out without ever making the call to end things. I made the call and left.
The emotions still come and go in waves. Sometimes I miss the idea of what I thought we had, though I know it was just a curated image to project the image she wanted the public to have. But I don’t miss her. Sometimes I hate her. Sometimes I’m indifferent. I still wish it could just be a clean break and I would never have to deal with her at all again but we have a child.
But I don’t dwell on it anymore. I rarely think of her anymore, but last night something strange happened. I was having a dream, don’t remember most of the details of it but it was a good dream. I remember the feeling of contentment. But at some point in the dream she walked through the door. I don’t think I’ve dreamed anything about her in well over a year. But there she was. And I felt nothing but annoyance. I was annoyed she was there. The dream ended at that moment and I woke up, still annoyed in the waking world.
Just a weird little observation. Not reading too much into it but thought it was worth writing down. Even when they are gone… they are never really gone.