An original, handwritten story about Flatpak (hold the line snap users!)

Flatpak is like an old bridge that served the Town for years, but no one ever dared renovate it, because of its complex construction (deduplication being a major pain point). There are barely any dedicated bridge engineers in Town (a couple of devs working on critical infrastructure = no better than abandonware). The ones that are left are grumpy old folk. In order for the bridge to last another year, they ordered every merchant (app developer) to have a special pass, distributed only by the bridge engineer mafia themselves. They've also been very difficult to work with (denying multiple app developers their place on Flathub).

And so, when the bridge inevitably crumbles under its own weight, the mayor will probably opt for going back to ferrying goods across the rushing river instead (using apt and dpkg in 2026).

There is a company in town (Canonical) that has proposed a solution to the bridge situation. They want to dig a tunnel under the river, completely bypassing the transport issue. But the mayor and the community don't trust them, following an incident in which several people bruised their knees while walking down the stairs to the tunnel (snap issues that will be fixed when the tech gets enough polish). Some people voiced their concern over not being able to build a makeshift version of the same tunnel because the company (Canonical) wouldn't give them access to shaped charges (snap store infrastructure) used to dig a path across the river.

The company (Canonical) has been very open about the tunnel's construction and even invited some merchants to try it out (welcoming snap community) to find out if it fits their own requirements, but barely anyone has heard of this, as local bums (FSF people: sorry, I have so much fun writing this :P) have been squatting near the tunnel entry, screaming that their alleged right to smear the tunnel walls with their own excrement - instead of using the lavatory (just use Debian if you don't like snap) - had been taken away from them, which brought the company bad press.

Hence the decision was made: The Town will withdraw its support for the company (Canonical) building the tunnel (snap). Leaflets were distributed across neighborhoods (youtube) and the town criers (youtubers) spread information about heinous acts the company was responsible for - namely, the bruised knees of those brave enough to use the tunnel stairs (using snaps and finding out they still have a couple of issues).

As for what happens next: whether the bridge finally collapses, whether the tunnel ever opens to the public, or whether some third crossing shows up that nobody saw coming - well, that's a story for another day. The Town moves slowly, but it never stops moving.

Tune in next week, same bridge, same river. <3