Hey there,

This is the wife of the linked OP. We’ve been discussing this together for the past few days and seeing the comments jumping to divorce, I thought I should clarify and share my side of the story. 

My husband has been incredibly depressed for some time now and multiple times last week I’d come home to find him passed out drunk. The morning before the initial argument, I found him drinking before I left for work. I expressed my frustration at him using alcohol so much and he told me he just bought a single drink while out running an errand. Later that day, I left work early to pick up his mom from the hospital (she’s okay) so he could go with her to pick up her car from where it had been left originally. When we got home, he was passed out drunk. When he eventually woke up, I had had a couple of drinks myself (my first in a while) and we were arguing about him clearly lying to me and not being able to be responsible in what was a semi-urgent situation. Instead of taking ownership for his actions, he walked away. I was worried he may be leaving to ride his bike to get more to drink, or hurt himself somehow in said field, so I followed him and grabbed his shoulders to try and keep him from doing so. He turned and shoved me so hard that I landed on both of my arms and started to cry from the pain. We went back inside, but the discussion remained unresolved. 

The next morning I woke up to my arms in pain and him drinking again and tried to discuss how his actions seriously affected me. I work in grocery and a good chunk of my work involves lifting heavy product so my arms being sprained or fractured would very much affect our livelihood. Instead of apologizing or acknowledging that his drinking has these consequences, he kept focusing on how it was my fault for grabbing him. In my frustration, I asked him to consider what the police would say if they had been called. I did not mean for it to be a threat and I would not call unless I was seriously concerned for my safety. I have since apologized to him for grabbing him and for the threat and he has apologized for the harm he has caused. The drinking is still a problem and I’m trying to encourage him to seek individual counseling for it while we both explore options for couples counseling (both free through my employer). I love my husband very much, ultimately he’s my best friend and I want the best for him, including his mental health. We’re experiencing an unprecedented difficulty with our economic circumstances these past few months but will hopefully be able to find cheaper living arrangements after our lease ends to help ease some of that stress. 

DV threat from wife: wife here