TLDR - Had a shaadi talk with my family. Turns out they can't help me much in finding someone I desire for myself and I am on my own. They shared their boundaries and shared what they are expecting.

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Was sitting in my room, mom came and just asked me, I am turning 25 soon, are you dating someone?

She thought I was, and assumed my female friend who I was talking to, was infact my gf.

The discussion continued..

They asked my preferences, and what I wished for myself, and also said a points which I have to follow

Example if I wished to get married at 28

1. Age difference - \[-5 to +3\]

2. She shouldn't be muslim or christian 

3. They are not expecting any dahej or the expectation that she will take care of them and leave her job to be in the house. But yeah they do want I choose my partner after thinking throughly, and we should talk with my parents and hers regularly

4. Having kids will be me and my partner's choice, and they will be happy with either of them. They wish us to be happy and live a prosperous life.

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That's their boundary for me and these are the things what I wish for in a partner 

1. Someone working on her career. I am in Tech, Software Engineering, so I preferably be compatible with someone who is also working in a similar field, tech, non tech, ex sales, marketing, consultancy, or someone who is working in corporate.

2. Will be less compatible with someone who has a buisness, doctors, or is in medical field. Again that's just from the perspective of, I wish to live with my partner, so we can accordingly shift in a good city where we both can enjoy and work on our careers.

3. I wish if we get a chance to move to foreign, we both should go, atleast for experience.

4. Someone who wishes to have kids down the line. Again that's just a desire, I don't consider children to be goals or anything, they should be byproduct of love and yeah her consent will be the final decision.

5. I don't smoke or drink. I won't be comfortable with someone who smokes, drinking is fine if it's occasional, regular can be a problem. Although my mom said, I should strictly look for someone who doesn't drink as well.

6. Someone who genuinely wishes to talk to me, be with me, is interested in me and I find them cute of all the flowers of the wordly garden. Although a relationship can start on attraction, but it sustains only if there is respect of each other feelings.

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The problems, My parents won't be able to help me find someone :(

1. We have stopped talking to our relatives, years ago. 

2. My parents don't have much of a social circle, they do, but not trustworthy enough to find me a match

3. And they said even if they can, and they will try their best, they might not find me someone I am looking for

4. They expect me to find someone by 28, and after that they will start searching too.

5. Although the final decision will be mine, but they wish I don't end up alone.

So yeah I am 99 percent on my own and I suck at it lol

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Where I am right now financially and in terms of personal growth 

1. My current year of experience is 1.5 so yeah, I need more time to reach a decent high salary. Not gonna lie, need to achieve atleast 15 to 20 after taxes to be ready. Since I have a army background, my parents aren't dependent on me financially.

2. I am working on my mental health and I am doing better, but definitely the road is long and I am seriously enjoying this.

3. Gym is on, but yeah irregular, again my bad. Need it to be consistent to be better. I am blessed with a decent height, 5 11 so I am grateful for that.

4. Trying to travel, click pictures, new hobbies, playing badminton, volleyball, and trying to meet new people.

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Dating journey 

Tried apps, didn't work, people weren't serious, and it was costing a lot of mental bandwidth so left it.

Approached women, but yeah, blockers use to come. Wasn't into casuals. 

Friends of friends did helped but didn't turn out well.

I might have these preferences for now, they can change in future as I develop my mindset more, but a hard stop will be at 32.

After that I will expect, these things aren't for me and would stop approaching at all.

Instead will focus on being a good uncle to my friends kids, travel, become more strong.

Thanks for reading till here. A journal it is.

Shaadi talks with family, 25M