I secretly recorded a conversation and found out what my friend really thinks about me. I don’t even know how to process this.

Before I start, I just want to say that English is not my first or second language, so I’m sorry if some parts are difficult to understand or if I don’t explain everything perfectly.

Also, writing this is honestly really sad and humiliating for me.

Even talking about it makes me feel embarrassed because these are things I never thought I would hear someone I considered a friend say about me.
I don’t even really want to think about it, but I need some outside opinions because after hearing what she was saying about me, I’m looking back at so many things differently.

I know the first part is going to make me look bad because I secretly recorded her conversation.
I’m not going to pretend that was okay. I know it wasn’t.

But I was extremely curious because the situation felt weird, and I had already noticed some things that made me question her.

We were sitting in a car.

I was talking to a girl, and my friend initially thought I was talking about another girl that she absolutely hates — someone we both know.

When she realized it wasn’t that girl, she was basically like, “Oh, okay, fine,” and seemed relieved.

Then she asked me what the situation was about.

I told her I was a little annoyed because this girl kept going back to a guy who treated her horribly.

He had cheated on her and done other things that made me feel like he wasn’t good for her. I was basically just venting.

Maybe five minutes later, she took out her phone and started talking to someone.

She stopped talking to me and was focused on her phone.

I got extremely curious.

She had been acting strange, so I thought, “What could go wrong?”
I recorded her.

She was talking to one of her best friends, a girl I also know.

And what I heard genuinely shocked me.
The conversation was in Greek, so I had it translated.

I understand that translations can sometimes get things wrong or lose context, so I’m not claiming every English word is 100% exact.

But I personally heard the slur, and the overall conversation was clearly extremely insulting.
According to the translation, she repeatedly called me “putana.”

She laughed about me being stupid, mocked my personality and the way I carry myself, called me desperate for attention, and apparently joked about how easy it was to manipulate me into feeling bad about myself.

She mocked my laugh and called me “cringe” for being myself in public.

She apparently laughed with the other girl about how I supposedly wouldn’t even know she was talking about me right in front of my face.

Then she started talking about my appearance.

She mocked my nose, saying it was too prominent/weird.

And this one genuinely hurt me because I have a scar on my nose.

It’s something I’m already conscious of.

What makes it even more confusing is that this same girl had previously told me that my nose was beautiful and complimented my features.

So hearing her privately describe it in such a cruel way was something I genuinely never expected from her.

She also apparently called my dress “cheap” and “tacky,” mocked my style, and made cruel comments about my body and personal life.

She apparently joked that I would “never find anyone” if it weren’t for her.

She also mocked my dreams and ambitions, calling them “delusional” and “embarrassing,” and apparently said I would **“never make it” out of the city I stay.

I don’t even understand why someone who supposedly likes you would spend this much time picking apart your appearance, personality, intelligence, body, relationships, clothes, and future.
And this isn’t the only situation that has made me question her.

There was another time when I was supposed to go somewhere with her, the guy she was kind of seeing, and his friend.

I won’t say exactly where because it’s too specific.
She suddenly told me to stay home and said she could go alone.

She told me the guy who was supposed to pick us up was sick.

I said okay. I genuinely didn’t care.
Then the next day I saw that guy and said, “Oh, how are you? I heard you were sick.”

He looked confused and said something like, “What do you mean? I’m not sick. I was working. Who told you I was sick?”

I was so embarrassed.

That’s when I realized she had lied to me.
And honestly, that’s what bothers me about the lie.
I wouldn’t have cared if she had simply said, “Hey, the plans changed. I want to go alone.”

I would have said okay.

I don’t need someone to make up a story to me. I would much rather someone just tell me the truth.
Later, we ended up meeting in the same place, and I realized she had actually gone there.

At some point, I told her that I felt uncomfortable around her guy’s friend and specifically asked her to stay with me because I didn’t want to be alone with him.

She said okay.

We were sitting together, and her guy asked her if she was okay.

She said she felt uncomfortable.
He asked what was wrong, and she kept saying she didn’t know, she just felt uncomfortable.
Then, maybe two minutes later, she asked me if it was okay if she sat next to her guy.

I said yes.

Then she told the guy to sit next to me.
I was honestly pissed.

I had literally just told her that I was uncomfortable being around him and asked her to stay with me, and somehow I ended up sitting next to the exact person I had asked her not to leave me alone with.
Maybe someone else wouldn’t consider that a huge deal, but together with everything else, it really bothered me.

There’s also one more thing that I don’t know if it’s connected, and I don’t want to accuse anyone without evidence.

Her guy’s little sister is someone I’ve known since 2022.

We’re not close friends, but I’ve always been nice to her and complimented her, and she has always responded really warmly to me.

Then my friend and her brother became more serious, and my friend followed his little sister.
A few days ago, it was the sister’s birthday, so I sent her a normal birthday message.

She left me on delivered for more than a few days.
Normally, I genuinely wouldn’t care.

People get busy. People don’t have to answer immediately.

But this had literally never happened before.
She had always responded to me, especially when I complimented her or messaged her.

So I found the sudden change strange.

I don’t know if my friend said something to her.
I don’t know if it’s connected.

I don’t want to make that accusation.

But after hearing the recording, I started thinking about all these other situations and wondering whether I had ignored signs that something was wrong.

And honestly, I don’t even want to think about what she said about me.

The nose comments especially hurt because of my scar.

The things she said about my appearance, my body, my personality, my laugh, my clothes, my intelligence, my relationships, and my dreams are all things I never imagined hearing from someone I considered a close friend.

I’m not trying to say she’s jealous.

After that happened, I went on another ride with someone else to get drinks.

When I came back, I was apparently on my phone a lot.

She then said, “Can I show you something?”
I said yes.

She told me to go into my phone settings, so I did.
I didn’t really understand what she was trying to show me.

Then I realized she was trying to get me to check my Screen Time, where your phone shows which apps you’ve been using the most.

The thing is, I don’t even have Screen Time turned on.

So I was just sitting there confused, because I genuinely didn’t understand what the point was.
Looking back, I feel like she was trying to make some kind of point about how much I was on my phone or how I was behaving, but I didn’t even realize what she was doing at the time.

And this is something I’ve noticed about myself: I’m a very kind and trusting person. Sometimes I don’t immediately recognize when someone is being mean to me because I assume they have good intentions.

So when I eventually understood what she was doing, it really messed with my head.

There was also another situation involving her and another girl who she isn’t friends with anymore.
The three of us were together, and we were in a car with a guy.

The guy said he couldn’t take me home because I lived too far away, but he could drop the other two girls off.

He asked what we were going to do because he needed somewhere to go afterward, and at one point he asked if i could sleep over with both of them.

We obviously said no.

The two girls were texting each other on their phones during this.

I was also extremely high at the time, so I was already very vulnerable and not really processing everything properly.

Then, suddenly, my friend told him something along the lines of:
“Drop her off, drop me off, and order her a taxi. When she’s close to home, cancel the taxi.”
And by “her,” she meant me.

I remember thinking afterward that this was really fucked up.

At the time, I wasn’t even completely sure whether I had understood the situation correctly, especially because I was high, so I didn’t immediately think, “Okay, I’m done with this person.”

But after everything that has happened, I’ve started remembering these incidents differently.

I sat down afterward and thought about everything the lying, the way she treated me when I specifically told her I was uncomfortable, the weird Screen Time situation, the taxi situation, and now the recording.
And I honestly reached the point where I thought:
This isn’t just one misunderstanding. She’s actually mean to me.

That’s the part I’m struggling with.
Because I don’t think I was looking for reasons to hate her. If anything, I kept giving her the benefit of the doubt.

I kept thinking maybe I misunderstood something, maybe it wasn’t that serious, maybe she didn’t mean it that way.

But when I put everything together, I’m starting to wonder why I was accepting this treatment from someone I considered a close friend in the first place.

There’s another part that makes the whole thing even more disturbing to me.

Before I ever had anything happen with her guys friends, she was already talking about him and, according to the translation of the language conversation, apparently trying to involve me with him without my consent.

Then, a few days later, I actually ended up smoking with him.

I became extremely intoxicated, and we eventually had sex.

The thing is, I don’t remember giving consent to have sex with him.

Afterward, he even said something that confused me a lot. He told me, “I thought you were casual.”
I remember being genuinely confused by that because I had never told him that I was “casual” with him.

So I immediately wondered: who told him that?
I obviously can’t prove that it came from my friend, especially because I don’t have the original recording anymore.

But the timing is what really bothers me.
She was talking about me and this guy before anything happened, and then days later something actually happened between us. Then afterward he tells me he thought I was casual, even though I had never given him that impression or told him that.
Maybe there is an explanation I don’t know about.
But combined with everything else I’ve described, I find it extremely difficult not to question what was going on behind my back.