3 cancelled 1st dates and he’s mad I’m saying it’s not a match

I (42f) matched with a guy (46m) in June as I was wrapping up my move into a new place in an area I’d lived before an hour outside of the city (landed a new remote job and this area is a lot cheaper). After a week of chatting we planned a date. Rather *I* planned the date…. The day before he cancels bc he got called into work, but said he wanted to reschedule (but didn’t make an effort to do so), so I rescheduled for a week later same time/place, different day. A few hrs before the rescheduled date he cancels again- this time he needs to take his dog to the emergency vet bc he had the dog outside all day in 90*+ heat and she overheated and was sick. About an hour before he canceled he also deleted his profile. I just left it at “I understand. I hope your pup feels better soon!” And conversation died as he made no effort to reschedule or continue the conversation (I did follow up the next day to see how his dog was doing, he never took her to the vet). He then ghosted me, I deleted his # and moved on with life.

A MONTH later he’s like hey I hope you’re well I’d really love to continue conversation. I’ve been so busy, can’t believe a month has gone by already! If it hadn’t been for the fact he’d mentioned his dogs name, I’d have been clueless as to who he was. So i stupidly resumed conversation and he asked for a date and once again *I* had to plan it. And he’s like overflowing with gratitude that I agreed to resume conversation and go on a date, which was weird.

The morning of the date (which was set for 6pm) I jetted into the city for a class for a hobby I’m interested in. After the class ended I drove off, made it a mile and suddenly my car starts overheating. I made it to a shop (barely), and after hours of waiting they say they need to keep it overnight and investigate further the next day. It’s about 2pm and I’m stressed, haven’t eaten all day and I’m mentally fried. In the very expensive uber home I text him to cancel, explaining the car problems in detail. He TELLS me (doesn’t ask) to reroute my uber driver to a town near the car repair shop he coincidentally was in “so we could still have our date” then he’d drive me home. I don’t need to to explain why getting into a car with a strange man as a female for a long drive is a bad idea. And after some pretty bad relationships in the past with men who liked to be controlling, guys who TELL me what to do trigger all sorts of PTSD. Which lemme tell you what a great feeling that is on top of the car stress.

Over the week since we’d resumed conversation I’d been noticing some pretty big red flags that hadn’t previously been apparent in addition to being irritated that this man can’t plan a date. Then the insistence I reroute my uber driver really rubbed me the wrong way. So I was just like hey, sorry but it just seems like the universe is just not in our favor here after 3 cancelled dates. Our timing is off, I just don’t think this is gonna work out. I wish you the best and hope you find your person. Normal people would probably be irritated/pissed for me flaking out, or even agree that it wasn’t gonna work bc of circumstances and maybe respond with a thumbs up emoji or nothing. Not him. I got a ranting text message in response minimizing the stress I’m feeling over my car situation and trying to gas light me into believing it’s nothing, telling me we could have had this amazing relationship bc we lived near each other (30 mins) and blaming me for failure to communicate and follow through. Which is rich given he ghosted me. So thanks dude for proving my instincts right. Dodged a bullet there.