Am I the asshole for not giving my mom the sincere apology she requested 2 days before my birthday? Update to :Momzilla

In May I posted about how my mother interfered with my wedding and caused me to have some strong emotions towards her. A month went by and I finally calmed down enough to talk to her about my feelings. This is when she cussed me out and said she was absolutely done with me.

Since then I have had a sick grandmother and have been trying to act civil to her. The one thing I didn’t understand was why I was being cut out when I felt she was the one who needed to apologize.

Well my grandma said my mom needs more recognition and love and I just need to say sorry.

I said I have nothing to be sorry about.

This email I have copied comes from my mom two days before my birthday this month;

Writer,
Mom-Mom said you don’t understand why I am behaving the way that I am. Well, here you go:

Impersonal Wedding Gift Thank You Card – I mean REALLY, why bother

Impersonal Birthday Card – I mean REALLY, why bother

Reading me a letter regarding my interference at Honeybee Farm in setting up the reception. I felt it was completely off base…especially regarding the table set-up (I was not the only one that made that decision) And commenting that your Honeybee Farm helper left because I was taking over her role. No…there was another event up the road that she needed to check on. She let me know and left another support person in her absence.

Telling me the only reason you invited your aunt and uncle was because of me and MM.

Posting on Facebook (2 – 3 days after your wedding) That you need to learn the ART of not giving a FUCK. Really, 2 - 3 days after your wedding? How disgusting and ungrateful.

Posting on Facebook pictures and comments of all the great women in your life and excluding me and your aunt , that’s right your mother and your aunt/godmother. REALLY, haha – I have tried to do nothing but love you, support you, not be judgmental and meet you wherever you have been in your life.

Obviously, not to your satisfaction. 
Posting many wedding pictures and strategically leaving me, your aunt and uncle out of all of them…then low and behold I can only imagine that someone gave you a talking too and lots more pictures appeared that happened to have me, your aunt and uncle in them. HOW THOUGHTFUL. I mean REALLY, why bother.

So, these are only the most recent incidents of your disrespect and outward disdain for me. If I spoke to my mom the way you have consistently spoken to me throughout your teenage and adult life, I can assure you my father’s fist would have been so far down my throat I wouldn’t have lived to see the light of day.

That is why I said I am DONE.

I feel you owe me a sincere apology and a change in your behavior.

In the meantime, you don’t have to worry about me interfering in your life or sharing anything that is important to me, in my life. You and your husband need help or have a question, ask, and I will respond as quickly as possible, as I have been. I will also, as I have proven, always update you on the health and well-being of your grandmother.
Mom

Am I the asshole for not saying sorry after I told her how badly she hurt my feelings on my wedding day and have done nothing but try to do small things like send her cards, go very low contact and even made a photo album for that side of the family with doubles of all photos so they could all share them?

She is now blocked on Facebook and had the nerve to text me on my birthday saying she hopes I have a very special day.

Her whole side of the family sees me as the one who needs to apologize and I must not be getting it. What the fuck?